By Ines Schinazi
Parents have never been so influential in their children’s decisions as they are today. Many parents actually accompany their children to job interviews. Some even make a point of dropping them off on the first day of work. Parents regularly complain about heir children’s grades and shamelessly ask bosses to lighten their child’s workload. Of course, this is old news. Everybody knows that generation Y grew up being overprotected and over parented. Parents are of course largely responsible for young people’s behavior in the workplace today.
Many experts have dedicated themselves to exploring this subject and discovering possible solutions. Bruce Tulgan is one of them. Tulgan argues, “Without strong management in the workplace, there is a void where their parents have always been.” Drawing from his experience as an inter-generational expert, Tulgan tells bosses to “Step into the void…[and] take over the tutoring aspects of the parental role in the workplace.”
Tulgan is the founder of Rainmaker Thinking Inc. and a best-selling author, his most recent book is “Not Everyone Gets a Trophy.” He is also the 2009 recipient of the prestigious Toastmaster’s International Golden Gavel. In an exclusive interview with http://www.talkingaboutgenerations.com, Tulgan shares his thoughts on managing the generation who got a trophy just for showing up.
Ines: You’ve spent years conducting in-depth research on the millennial generation, becoming a veritable expert on the subject. What specifically made you interested in studying this generation, since you’ve spent good part of your career practicing Law?
Bruce: I started out interviewing young people in the workplace back in 1993 when I was a 26 year old lawyer. The oldest of Generation Y at that point were only about 15. Since then, I’ve continued interviewing young people in the workplace. It’s just that I’ve gotten older and older and the young people have become the next generation. So now the oldest GenYers are 32. Just wait, soon they’ll be in their forties and the young people in the workplace will be Generation Z.
Ines: Can you talk a bit about what made you want to found “Rainmaker Thinking” and what you are trying to accomplish through the company?
Bruce: Back in 1993, I was an unhappy lawyer working at Two Wall Street in New York City. I became curious about what was then becoming obvious to me, the generation gap in the workplace at the time. That curiosity turned into a book, which was MANAGING GENERATION X. That book got a lot of attention.
Companies started inviting me to speak at their conferences, train their managers, observe their operations and conduct focus groups with their employees. Then I became more and more interested in the dynamics between managers and employees, more generally. I’d go into a company, interview their employees and managers, meet with the senior executives and share what I’d learned from the employees and managers. And we’d provide training for employees to help them work more effectively with their managers and with each other.
Since the mid-1990s, I’ve had a front-row seat from which to study workplace dynamics. I’ve spent most of my time training managers and employees at all levels and every industry. The more we learn, the more we turn that learning back into more training. It’s a dynamic process, learning from people in our focus groups and interviews and turning those lessons into training programs so we can proliferate the best practices.
Ines: In a praiseful Boston Globe review of your book “Not everyone gets a trophy,” the reviewer remarks, “Tulgan’s approach sometimes sounds more like parenting than managing.” In your opinion do managers have to take on a parenting role? And if so, how will Gen Y eventually learn to “parent” and “lead” themselves?
Bruce: I have a whole chapter in the book called, “Practice In Loco Parentis Management.” Of course, that is somewhat meant to be tongue in cheek, but there is a lot of real data underlying this. The details change, but the thrust of the story is always the same. There’s no doubt that parents are far more heavily involved in the lives and careers of their young adult children than those of previous generations.
College professors and administrators report that the parents of Gen Yers show up to new student orientations in record numbers (some studies indicate that more than 80 percent of new students are now accompanied by a parent for some part or all of orientation). Parents are often consulted several times a day by their college-attending children, using cell phone check-ins to get advice about course choices, classroom protocol, homework assignments, and exams. Professors routinely field parental complaints about student workload and grades.
This pattern of helicopter parenting carries over once Gen Yers get to the workplace. Managers tell me about parents accompanying their children to job interviews and even, once in a while, to the first day of work. Parents are consulted about career decisions and management practices. The big surprise comes when managers hear directly from parents, suggesting their children should be working fewer hours, getting different assignments, winning promotions, and receiving pay increases.
Yes, it is commonplace today for parents to insert themselves in support of their young (and not-so-young) adult children, even in the most adult spheres when such involvement would have been considered totally inappropriate in the past. But remember, this is nothing new for Gen Yers. Their parents have always been highly engaged with them. Every step of the way, they have been guided, directed, supported, coached, and protected. Unlike previous generations, they don’t express much desire to break free as they reach adulthood.
It’s become almost cliché to say that Generation Y is over-parented. But they are. And that is a fact with which managers today must grapple. I don’t think you should accept that. You hired the employee, not the parents. But you do have to deal with it. The irony is that if you hire a Gen Yer who is not close to his or her parents, you may be sorry. Among today’s young workers, those who are closest to their parents will probably turn out to be the most able, most achievement oriented, and the hardest working.
Ines: And what’s the way for employers to deal with this problem of over-parenting?
In my seminars, I tell to take a strong hand as a manager, not a weak one. Your Gen Y employees need to know that you know who they are and care about their success. You need to make it a priority to spend time with them. Guide them through this very difficult and scary world. Break things down like a teacher. Provide regular, gentle course corrections to keep them on track. Be honest with them so you can help them improve. Keep close track of their successes no matter how small. Reward the behavior you want and need to see, and even negotiate special rewards for above-and-beyond performance in very small increments along the way.
When I describe this approach at seminars, at least one manager will remark that this sounds a lot like parenting. Are you saying that we should manage these young upstarts as if we are their parents?”
I’m afraid the answer I’ve come to is yes, at least sort of. Do be careful, and don’t get carried away. The worst thing you can possibly do with Gen Yers is treat them like children, talk down to them, or make them feel disrespected. Gen Yers are used to being treated as valued members of the family, whose thoughts and feelings are important. Remember, Generation Y has gotten more respect from their parents and elders than any other generation in history.
I call this approach in loco parentis management.
Read on tuesday the second part of the interview with Bruce Tulgan
