Talking about Generations

By Sarah Newton*

I spend a lot of time coaching Gen X on how to handle Gen Y. You see, even though the generations follow each other, they really are poles apart.

For all the times that Gen Y were told they could succeed and do anything, Gen X were told not to show off, not to hold high expectations and to be realistic. For all the awards and trophies that Gen Y got just for taking part, Gen X were left on the sidelines thinking that they were not good enough. For all the caring and sharing, child-centric ways in which Gen Y were brought up, Gen X learnt that it was the individual that mattered and you must win, no matter what and that youth should, well, just go away. As Gen Y were loved and wanted children, Gen X were often mistakes and were reminded of this countless times. Gen X were a very rebellious cohort of youth, pretty much left to get on with their lives. They saw things and dealt with things at a much earlier age than they should. They were feared and ignored by society and grew up isolated, used to being overlooked.

So when you get an enthusiastic, I can do anything let’s work together, confident Gen Y, trying to get a sceptical, individualistic, I can make it on my own Gen X together, never the twain shall meet.

I was recently contacted by a Gen Y who was having problems in a company she was consulting with. The Gen Xs were not taking too kindly to her and she wanted to know how to get them on board. I agreed to meet her and talk this through and it was a meeting that showed me in black and white the differences between the two generations.

When we met up she enthusiastically spent the first 30 minutes telling me all about herself and the awards and accolades she has got, then spent another 30 minutes telling me how wonderful I was, to the point where I thought I would be sick. She then told me the problem and asked me what she should do. I left the meeting feeling like I had been chewed up and spat out. Wow, is this what employees in the workplace feel like?

It got me thinking, how does a Gen Y get a Gen X to be on board with them without driving them to the point of nausea?

1. Make me feel special, but not that special. OK, we want to feel like we can help and we are of use, but anything over the top makes us feel that you are been totally insincere. A simple, “You have been with the company much longer than me and I would really value your opinion,” will suffice. Make us feel we have something you need without showering us with praise.

2. We know who you are, so don’t tell us. We are not good with people boasting about themselves, it makes us feel very insecure. We are just not used to it. Believe me, we will have researched you, we will know all about you, mainly to see if we consider you a threat or not, so please don’t tell us anymore. You are special, we know that so don’t ram it down our throats.

3. We want to help. We have an affinity with the youth and we want to help them, but we are always suspicious about people’s motives. Be really honest with us and don’t feel you need to butter us up lots; a “Can you help?” will do it every time.

4. Acknowledge what we did. We may not like it but secretly we want it. If we can help you or support you, then please let people know. We may not acknowledge that you have done this and may even go red and say, “You shouldn’t have,” but if you don’t do it we will secretly hate you forever and if there is anything that Gen X are really good at, it is causing trouble.

In return we promise not to talk down to you, to listen to your off-the-wall ideas and acknowledge your expertise.

Tags: Generation, Generation X, Genetarion Y